Keeping your cool, moving on and making promises

Have you ever had something happen to you that makes you re-think everything that you do on a daily basis? Had something so bad happen that moving on from it seems almost impossible? I’m at this point in my life at the moment and I’ve got to be honest with you, I’m finding things really difficult to deal with.

Nothing completely detrimental has happened yet, don’t worry, but there is a possibility that if I don’t try to make things right, something very unrepairable will happen.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve been dealing with a part of me that I wasn’t even aware existed – a jealousy so profound that it has overshadowed the best parts of who I am.

Jealousy, by definition, is a by-product of insecurity and a lack of self-confidence which honestly makes a lot of sense. My confidence has definitely depleted over the years for many reasons that I can rattle off at the top of my head: friends, university changes and outsider judgement. To conquer this jealousy, I must learn to develop an unwavering self-confidence.

I used to be proud of myself, my ability to always see the bright side of things and never doubt myself. I used to be happy with my relationships in life and prided myself on being cool, calm and collected. These past few months prove that my mind-set has diverged from this path and I have become everything that I never wanted to be. I don’t want to be this person that I have become – someone who is up-tight, impulsive and doesn’t keep her promises.

 How to build self-confidence:

  • Do things that you enjoy doing because it makes you happy.
  • Surround yourself with people who make it easy for you to be confident.
  • Let loose a little bit – wind down with a bath, a book and a movie (and vodka).
  • Realise that if others don’t treat you the way that you want to be treated, then it’s their loss of your friendship, not yours.
  • Whenever you feel the urge to say something you’ll regret, count to 10 and back again, it’ll take your mind off the situation.
  • Take up a hobby (e.g. drawing, dancing, gym, instrument)

Things that are true:

  • I am loved. I need to prove to those people that loving me isn’t a bad decision.
  • Being yourself will get you far.
  • Keeping promises will encourage trust.
  • I will not continue to fail; my happiness depends on it.

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